Rachel Bunting

emails from crazy people

Here I was, eating my lunch and lamenting the fact that I didn’t have anything specific to blog today. Oh, silly me. What was I thinking? Of course there’s something to blog!

I recently started reading this website, Emails from Crazy People.  It’s another website owned by Ben Huh, the guy who runs I Can Has Cheezburger, FailBlog, GraphJam, etc. (Interestingly, there’s a little piece on him in the most recent issue of Time.) The premise of the site is simple: they post emails that are in some way absurd, ridiculous, crazy. Really, it’s pretty funny.

Today’s post has me scratching my head and saying “WTF?” – not to the admin at EfCP, but to the Uncle in question here:


So let me get this straight, Uncle XXXX: you bought your son a dog. He then put peanut butter on his scrotum, and let the dog lick it off – and you think that makes him gay?

Oh, right. Because gay people are just little ids running around, rubbing themselves on whatever they can to satisfy their basic pleasure impulses. And gay people will use whatever comes in handy, whether that be another person, a hairbrush, a dog – you know, whatever they can reach. And any sexual behavior that seems slightly out of the ordinary can absolutely be attributed to gay people. Totally.

I’m just super tired of the too-common assumption that gay people are nothing more than walking bundles of sexual impulse, seeking only to satisfy the impulse in increasingly perverse ways. And I’m also tired of the too-common act of deeming someone “gay” because s/he happens to seek sexual satisfaction in a way that’s somehow other than “standard.”

And I’m incredibly sick of the lumping of actions that are considered “perverse” into the gay community.

Does the uncle make the gay remark because of the peanut butter? Probably not, since we all know about the cliched idea of food being sexy (strawberries and whipped cream, anyone?). So I’m guessing the gay comment comes in because there’s a dog involved here. So let me give you a little breakdown, Uncle XXXX:

Bestiality, clinically known as zoophilia, is defined as “sexual activity with animals (bestiality), the desire to do so, or to the paraphilia of the same name which requires a definite preference for animals over humans as sexual partners.” (thanks, Wikipedia!)

Homosexuality, better known as being gay, is defined as a “romantic or sexual attraction or behavior among members of the same sex, situationally or in an enduring disposition.” (and again, I say thanks, Wikipedia!)

Do you see, Uncle XXXX, how there is no reference to animals in the definition for Homosexuality? Do you see how it’s an entirely separate behavior?

All that being said, I think it’s entirely possible that the peanut butter user is just a kid who was interested in his own sexual arousal. It probably seemed like the least attention-drawing way to go about experimenting with what sensations he liked or didn’t like: there was no risk of human rejection followed by humiliation, and it’s unlikely the dog would run away and tell his friends all about it.

Is it uncomfortable to think about kids exploring their sexuality? Yes. Of course. Is that because we live in a crazy Puritanical society, where we teach our kids that sexuality is bad? Well, I think so. Does this exploration of sexuality automatically mean our kids are gay? No.

And even if it did, would that be so bad? There are worse things a person could be.

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